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From: monnami
Category: Relationships
Date: 03 Nov 2005
Time: 06:07:22
Remote Name: 10.124.207.254
I have been with my husband for nearly 10 years, since I was 18, but we have only been married for 2 months. I was so happy getting married, it really was the happiest day of my life, but I am really worried that I was more excited about getting married than who i was marrying. We have been together so long, marriage seemed like the logical conlusion. Everyone was always asking when we were getting married that we were caught up in the moment. I do love my husband, but I am do not think i am "in love" with him. I did have a few doubts before the wedding but my mum told me it was just nerves and everything would be fine. Now we are married, i cannnot get the feeling out of my head that i do not want to be married! I cannot see myself staying with my husband for the next 40 years and that scares me! We have joint bank accounts and mortgage, I am sure I could rent a flat or something if needs be but it is all so scary. I cannot talk to anyone here because nearly all our friends are mutual friends. They all think we make a great couple and I am finding it really hard to live up to the dream. So many people will be disappointed and angry if I do anything, hence the feeling of being trapped. His parents were so happy when we got engaged. My mother in law has thought of me as her daughter since we met as she has no other children, and has made me part of their family since day one. My husband is great. we get on so well and he really is like my best friend, but i think i would rather be friends than lovers. I am finding myself resenting him for putting me in this position, but it isn't his fault!. I really jsut want someone to talk to...give their point of view or advice. It has helped getting it off my chest, but the more I think about it the more i do not want to be married. sorry this is all a bit garbled! Thanks and regards